Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mother's manual... advice for young people leaving home

Straightforward Advice From Mom... Dedicated to Young People Everywhere

As we all know, when the three little pigs left home two of them made disastrous, near fatal mistakes. This little manual is designed to help you avoid the pitfalls in life and achieve success.
With much Affection
Love, Mom
The first thing which happens when you leave home is that you must find a home of your own. When you decide to rent an apartment or house you need to know a few things about getting started.

1. The rent is not the only cost. Renting requires a deposit as a promise you will not trash the facility. You get this money back when you move out if you leave the facility in the same condition that it was when you first rented it. Check with the landlord before making drastic changes. Painting the living room purple without asking will definitely get your deposit revoked.

2. Utilities are Electricity, Water and Garbage, and Gas.

3. Utilities require a deposit before they turn on your service. They will require this amount when they begin processing your application for service. It may be a percentage of the monthly cost of the utilities used by past tenants. *Hopefully they didn't run the air conditioner in August with the doors open.

4. Utilities will also charge a connect fee. This charge will be on your first monthly bill so prepared for it to be higher the first month than you expected. Save some cash back for this surprise.

5. Pets will be a problem always. Try not to buy the darling puppy on impulse to save yourself the heartache of having to get rid of it. Goldfish are always acceptable.

6. If you rent a house in the winter ask the landlord who is expected to mow the lawn when summer arrives.

7. Hide a spare house key some place outside.

*When we moved into our first rental house the joy of our new home was overshadowed by the nightmare we saw as we switched on the light after dark. We'd moved to Joe's Apartment! The walls were literally crawling with millions of roaches. We slept in the car our first night then had to eat the cost of the exterminator ourselves. Make sure to ask the landlord about who is responsible for extermination, should the need arise.

THE KITCHEN…Plan on learning to cook
Not only is cooking sexy, it is cost efficient. Also the transfats in fast food places will kill you. Your refrigerator needs more than beer and ketchup so plan to keep supplies on hand. Rule of thumb is plan on $60 a week per person for buying food. Shop on the first and the 15th of the month because that's when they have sales at grocery stores. Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry; you'll buy impulse items.

Outfitting your kitchen is easy and cheap; go to garage sales for a frying pan, two sizes of sauce pans, a roasting pan, and a cookie sheet. Silverware, plates, and mugs added will finish the list and should set you back about $10-15 for all of it. Save buying the expensive stuff for later.

Before you leave home, take a look at the workings of it. Note the supplies used and taken for granted everyday. Hand soap, shampoo, tooth paste, toilet paper. A broom and vaccume, sponges, dishwashing detergent, laundry detergent, Comet and so forth. These things cost money so save money for buying them.

You will need some tools to make repairs. A hammer, screwdrivers, and several sizes of nails. Cheap scissors, needles and black and white thread. The needles are for removing a splinter or sewing a button back on with the thread.

You will need medicinal supplies too. Alcohol is an antiseptic to clean a wound, antibiotic cream will kill what the alcohol hasn't so you need both. You need bandaids and Aspirin or Tylenol. Benedryl in case of an allergic attack. (ie: throat closing… 1 tablespoon liquid Benedryl will open it.) A thermometer for taking your temp will help evaluate degrees of illness.

Antibiotics are designed to help you body fight infection. They are not to be taken for headaches. Aspirin is to lower temperature, ease muscle pain and headaches. Tylenol is not as effective as Aspirin so take 1000 mgs. of it if you need to lower your temperature. If you are sick, give your body 3 days before running to the doctor. If you are getting better, not worse, after 3 days, you do not need to got to the doctor.

The difference in a virus and a bacterial infection is obvious. Clear phelm is not bad… probably allergies or at worst a cold, which is a virus. It takes 3 days of feeling punny to catch a cold, 3 days to have it and 3 days to recover and feel good again. Low fever can be present too; antibiotics won't help a virus.

Green phelm is bad, probably an infection needing antibiotics, especially if it lasts more than 3 days and gets worse. A flu lasts a full month of getting sick, being sick and finally feeling better. It has high temperature with it. You can spread the illness to your friends while you have the temp, so try not to cuddle. For everyday you had temperature, you are supposed to rest three. Rest means don't go to the gym and don't take a road trip. Sleep helps your body recover from being sick so go to bed early.

Now that you are out on your own you need to know about the Police. You are probably going to be gathering with friends to 'party' so you need to know the rules. The job of Police in many college towns is to arrest students to make money for the city. However there are a few simple rules to follow which will keep you safe. Remember any encounter with the police is very expensive.

1. The speed limit is exactly that. It is the limit, taken to the max, as high as you can go. Do not exceed it. They can give you a ticket if you are going 2 miles over it.

2. Do not ever run from the police in a car…ever. They have guns and are awfully nervous on a good day. If you run, they chase, their adrenalin begins to pump and they will hurt you, if not kill you.

3. Be respectful in any encounter with the police. They are just waiting for you to smart off so they can get rough with you and arrest you. They may just give you a ticket if you are respectful. Or they could search and destroy your car, handcuff and beat you and throw you in jail. Remember they get a lot of money every time they pick up a person and their main job is making money. Not saying "sir" to a cop can land you a resisting arrest charge.

4. If you are on a walk and hear a policeman say "stop", do it! If you don't they will shoot you.

5. Never drink and drive or ride with anyone who is…it is a one way ticket to jail and it will cost a bunch.

6. If you have gone to a club, with a designated driver, do not get out of the car if it is stopped by the police unless he tells you to. The driver must say to the policeman that he is sober, he is the driver and everyone else is drunk. If you get out, the minute your foot hits the ground you will be arrested for public drunk. Let the sober guy talk to them and keep quiet... very quiet.

7. If they come to your house and ask to come in, do not let them. Once they are invited in they can do anything including terrorizing you and tearing up your home. Ask for a warrant before letting them in.

8. Always contest any traffic tickets. If you simply send in the payment, it is considered a guilty plea (no contest) and will be reported to your insurance company. If you appear in court and say you do not agree with the policeman the judge may make you pay the ticket, but it goes on record you have not agreed you were speeding. It will not be reported to your insurance.

Stay Safe!

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